TinyActionTV #18: How to Not Eat All the Little Debbie’s in One Sitting

Have you ever had that experience where you all of a sudden drop all of your good intention and your choices for health and longevity just disappear, and you end up going to the store, buying the box of Little Debbies and eating all of them?

It's like a little kid took you over, right?

This is so common with folks struggling with out-of-control eating. There is some part of them-- a younger part-- that's calling the shots.

This doesn't even necessarily have to do with old childhood trauma, or anything like that, but it's just a maturity thing.

The part of us that understands long-term perspective drops away, and all we can see is right here, right now.

I want the satisfaction. I want the taste. I want the experience. I want to not have to think about all the things that my adult self has to think about. So let me just eat the Little Debbies.

 

What I want to offer instead is a teaching from Marc David at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. If you don't know their work, I highly suggest you check them out. They have a great podcast.

Marc talks a lot about how part of the process of coming into food freedom is to come into a greater state of maturity— to come into a place where you are able to have that long-term perspective, and make decisions that are in alignment with it. 

He likes to call it, “stepping into your queen," or “stepping into your king.” Accessing that regal, powerful, grounded place inside of ourselves that has the capacity to take care of the whole land.

What would it be to step into your queen or your king?

Today for your Tiny Action, I want to give you that question: "What would my queen do?" or "What would my king do?"

Then allow that Queen to take a pause from the little kid running to the store to get a little bit of satisfaction and take that long-term perspective and step into your maturity.

Really inhabit your Queenliness or Kingliness and make a choice from that place. 

Step into your Queen! Step into your King!

TinyActionTV Episode #17: How to Escape the “I’ll Start Tomorrow” Mindset

How many times have you been on a diet and you've been doing really “great" at it, and then something happens and you end up going off the deep end and eating everything you weren't supposed to eat on your diet?

Then it just becomes this thing where it's like well, I'll start tomorrow, or I'll start Monday. Then you're on a binge for the next several hours or days.

That is the cycle of the diet-binge reality— It is a pendulum, swinging from restriction to bingeing every single time.

It's that last supper mentality of “Well, F it, I'm just gonna wait until tomorrow," that ends up keeping people really stuck in this swing between heavy restriction to way outta control eating.

I want to offer that instead of going into that mentality of “Well, I'll just start tomorrow" or "I'll start Monday", that you have it in your mind "Start now!"

Start now! Now's the time.

Now is the only time you ever have to make a different behavioral choice.

So even if you've eaten something that feels out of alignment with the kind of food that you wanna be putting in your body, you just accept that you ate the thing you didn’t want to eat, and then declare that you are going to make a different choice now to show up and be more honoring of the life that you really want to be living.

Your tiny action for today is the next time that you notice that you're having that old diet mentality voice in your head that says "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll start Monday," that you instead think “What can I do right now to help create the change that I want in my life?"

Something really small, like go drink a glass of water. Or go outside, and take a few deep breaths, and maybe go on just a one block walk.

It doesn't have to be a lot, but doing one small action now can start to bust up that diet mentality thinking that we need to start on Monday, and that can be what you need to finally find the freedom that you're looking for in your food relationship. 

Start now!

TinyActionTV Episode #16: What the Flu Can Teach Us About Perfection and Commitment

On today's episode of Tiny Action TV, I'm gonna get real with you. I am real with my dirty hair, my pajamas, and my croaky, froggy voice, because I have been sick in bed with the flu for the last five days.

I've had a thermometer in my mouth more times than I've had food in my mouth. And let me tell you, it's been a bit brutal.

I am still here, making today's episode, because I made a commitment. 

I made a commitment to myself and my students to make one of these videos every single Tuesday for the whole year, and I'm doing that today.

And the teaching that I wanna highlight as I'm showing up just as I am, as real as I am today, is that commitment doesn't have to be perfect in its own execution.

We don't have to be perfect in everything that we do, in order to stay committed to our journey.

So here I am showin' up as my full, real, flu self, to teach you that it's more powerful to take one tiny action today towards the life that you want for yourself than to try to do it all tomorrow perfectly.

'Cause when we try to do it perfectly, we're pulling that pendulum up to one side, inevitably, something's gonna happen that's gonna swing the other direction, and we're gonna end up feelin' out of control and crazy and it's probably gonna end up in a binge.

I have really worked hard to let go of my perfectionism. I've decided instead that I want to maintain my commitment to the journey of food freedom.

And I hope that you find that same in your life. So today, what's that tiny action that you can make to take just a little bit of care for yourself, instead of trying to do it all tomorrow?

Hope you all have a great day, and find your own commitment without perfection.

TinyActionTV Episode #15: How to Get Off the Binge Train

Have you ever had the experience where something happens and you have the thought of ice cream sandwiches (insert your binge food here), and then the next thing you know, you are on the freight train to binge land and you can't stop until you've picked up three at the store and eaten all of them?

Well, if you can relate to that, then today's post is going be great for you.

What I wanna help you do is to pry those apart where you acknowledge that the urge can be distinct from the action.

The way to create this distinction is by creating one tiny pause between that initial thought and your act of going and fulfilling on that thought.

What this would look like is that if you're on the freight train to binge land, that you take a moment to have the awareness of "I'm on a freight train."

Just take one conscious breath, and acknowledge you're on the train. Take that one pause.

What that one pause can eventually do is it can lead you to a place where you have the awareness that you're on the train.

Maybe you sit down in the middle of the kitchen floor on the way to the fridge, and you surf that urge— you sit with it while it's happening, and notice it without acting on it.

Eventually what can happen is you can completely separate having an urge from having to act on it.

You're urge and you're action are not the same thing, and you can separate the two, but in order to do it, the very first thing you have to do is to take one pause and have the awareness that you're on the train to binge land.

As you take that pause, take that deep breath and move on from there.

If you end up binging, that's okay. This is a long journey and it doesn't happen overnight.

But the first time you take the pause can get you to the place where the next time you take a little bit longer until you ultimately can completely separate that urge from action and not binge at all. It is powerful stuff.

There is an amazing amount of power in taking just that one pause. 

Find your of Power of the Pause!

TinyActionTV Episode #14: The Secret to Deal with Binge Guilt

So many of the people who are struggling with out of control eating are trying so hard to be perfect. And if they can't be perfect,then they might as well not do anything at all.

Swinging from trying to be perfect by restricting and dieting, and then failing at those extreme efforts and swinging over to failure and bingeing on everything in sight.

Can you relate to that?

It is a cycle.  Perfection is impossible.  Trying to achieve perfection is a set up for failure. 

The mindset shift that I want to offer you is that the only thing that is perfect is the present moment.

The reason why this is the only thing that is perfect is because you can't argue with what's happening right now.

It is, it is happening. And if you argue with it, you are creating more suffering for yourself. 

One common way that people create more suffering for themselves if by shaming and guilting themselves when they don’t achieve perfection. 

This doesn't mean that you don't have the sovereignty to take action to change things in the future.

But if you argue against what is happening right now, you are just creating more suffering for yourself.

So, I want you to really consider this. The next time that you're in a moment where you're deep down in a binge, I want you to ask yourself: “How could this moment be perfect?"

A hint:  Learning from this moment is one way that you can understand it to be perfect, even if it is an awful low moment.

Ask yourself: What got you into this moment? What action are you doing that doesn't feel good?

Your Tiny Action today is to focus on the perfection of the present moment. Accept what is happening.  Because it is happening.  Feeling guilt about it does not help you get out of it. 

After you accept what is happening, choose one tiny action that brings you into alignment with the life that you value most. Something easy, like drinking a glass of water, or calling a friend. 

May you find perfection in the present moment.

TinyActionTV Episode #13: How to Get Out of Monkey Mind

Today I am going to teach you a really powerful and simple tool to help you when you feel like you are stuck up in "monkey mind."

You know, "monkey mind," where you're ruminating about something in the past or you're freaking out about something that's yet to happen in the future. 

Maybe you can relate to being a balloon head, drifting slightly above your body, definitely not connected.

When we're in that place, it is so easy to go to food for a little relief- to ground us down a little bit, to make us feel a little more stable and even a little more numb.

If you can relate to that, then this tool is going to be really powerful for you. It's very simple.

Today for your tiny action, when you notice that you're up there in the monkey mind and everything's racing, what you're going to do is you're gonna take a deep breath, and ground your feet down.

Take your feet, press them in to the ground, and really feel what they feel like right now as your weight is pressing down. Even better if you do it while standing up.

As you feel your weight pressing down, pay attention to all of the subtle sensations of your feet right here in this  moment.

Notice the texture of your socks, where on your foot the pressure of your weight is.

Then tune your mind into the reality that as you are pressing down on the ground, the ground is pressing back up to meet you.

You are here in your body on this Earth right now.

That is a powerful tool to help you get outta monkey mind, get into your body, and connect to all that is greater than just you.

Just remember, ground your feet down.

TinyActionTV Episode #12: Powerful Question to Stop Out-of-Control Eating

Let me guess, you're here to try to figure out how to control your crazy out-of-control eating. Am I right?

Well, let me tell you something: you are never in control, but you are always in choice.

I see all the time people trying to control and that control ends up backfiring, because let's be real, life is always going to happen.

Things are out of our control all around us all the time. But what we do have is the capacity to show up to each moment and choose how we interact and react.

I’m going to give you a little sliver of my framework of Empowered Choice right now.

Start looking at your choices through the lens of what you care about, asking yourself in the moment, "Do I want to honor my value of enjoyment and satisfaction with this food choice, or do I want to honor my value of long-term health with this food choice?"

You can imagine, if you're choosing from one of those values or another, you're going to make a different choice.  

I'm not saying one is good or bad; they're both valuable.

You care about satisfaction and you care about health. Sometimes you get both at the same time. Yahtzee!

But sometimes we need to make different choices in each moment to honor different values.

Today, for your tiny action, what I want to offer is this one simple question to ask yourself as you choose what you're gonna eat:, "What value do I want to honor with this food choice?"

Notice if you can see which value you are choosing most of the time, and explore what value you want to honor more often.  

Go more in depth with that value.  Ask yourself: “Why do I care about this valuing health?” Give yourself a few minutes to really consider the myriad of reasons why health is a value that you want to honor most. 

You can even make a list and put it up somewhere: "I value health because: it is easier to run around with my kids, it will help me live longer and be more mobile, it gives me the sensations of energy and lightness."

See what comes up on your list. And then the next time you are choosing what to eat, see which value you want to honor. 

This makes it a choice. If you are choosing to honor pleasure, then go full out and really revel in the yumminess. 

If you are choosing to honor health, then embrace the CHOICE and let it fuel you to live the life you have actually been so hungry for all along.  

TinyActionTV Episode #11: The Secret to Self-Forgiveness

Have you ever had one of those moments where you said something or did something that made you feel really stupid or embarrassed or bad?

Then you played that scenario over and over and over in your mind and you thought, "Well, I could have said this," "or I could have done this" "or what if I had,” and on and on the thoughts go. 

I bet you can relate, because it's a very human thing to do.

Though, for those folks struggling with eating issues, it's that kind of mental chatter that can end us up elbow deep in that chip bag. 

I want offer you a perspective on self-forgiveness. The way I understand self-forgiveness is throughtwo distinct prongs.

First prong: look at the situation and see, "Did I do something that was some kind of moral or ethical breach?"

If so, then you can make amends for it. You can go to that person or to yourself and say that you're sorry. Acknowledge that you did something that was out of alignment with what you actually value.

The second prong of self-forgiveness is to see that if you didn't make some kind of moral or ethical breach then you were actually just being unskillful.

Now, let me ask, do you look at a little kid who's learning to walk and makes a mistake and falls down and think how bad they are? Do you berate them for it?

Of course you don't, because you understand it's just part of their learning process, so same thing here.

If you acknowledge that that story you're playing over and over was just you being unskillful, then you just choose to let it go. Learn from it and let it go. 

Your tiny action for today is to look at that situation and understand if you need to make amends. If you do, go do it.

If not, let it go! Each time you think about that scenario, gently remind yourself to "Let it GO!"

Get your coloring book page that says "Let it Go!" by clicking the button. 

Also, if you want to get more of my teachings during the month of February, I'mteaching my free online class called "How to Find Freedom from Out of Control Eating.” Go to click here to find out more. 

TinyActionTV Episode #10: The Secret to Finally Feeling Good About Yourself

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We are here at the end of January, a time of year where lots of people had great intentions at the beginning of the year, for self care, for exercise, or some other new resolution, but now things are slipping and people are feeling bad about it.  Worthless even.  

Can you relate to that? How are you doing with your resolutions right now?

All the time I talk to people who want to take care of themselves, but I find at the core of why they're not, is because they have this guilt that they're not actually worthy of taking care of.

It's not worth it to take care of themselves— that they aren't worthy. But what I want to tell you is that you are absolutely worthy.

Part of how you show yourself your own worth is through your self care.

Today for your tiny action, what I want to offer that you do is that you choose one tiny self care action, something that takes 30 seconds to two minutes, and you commit to doing it every day for the next week.

For me, I start every day with a glass of hot lemon water. I know that by doing that, very first thing in the morning, I'm showing up for myself, for my self care, for my self worth. 

Through that action, I'm able to make even more fulfilling and self care-filled actions in the future, and it builds my feeling of self worth.

I hope that you instill a new tiny action into your life where self care is at the core. Because self care if self worth in action.

Start changing your perspective of how much you are worth by starting to change how you actually care for yourself.  

TinyActionTV Episode #09: One Powerful Trick to Escape Emotional Eating

Have you ever had it happen where someone says something that triggers tears, and you can feel those tears rising, and you do everything you can to push them down, then you think about Doritos, and you go get the Doritos and you eat them all?

I know that that was a common pattern for me. I didn't wanna feel my emotions. I didn't wanna show my emotions for sure, so what did I do?

I pushed them down and ate instead.

The reality is if you are an emotional eater, and you don't choose to feel your feelings in the moment when they happen, it's gonna end up in emotional eating.

And my guess is that emotional eating is not going to actually help, but only make you feel worse.

So my tiny action for you today is that when you have one of those moments where you feel your tears starting to rise, that you remove yourself from the situation and that you choose to actually feel what it feels like in your eyes and in your cheeks when you're crying.

Just focus your mind on those sensations in your eyes and in your cheeks, and notice what it's like, and allow the tears to come, choose to feel.

If you feel now, you don't have to eat about it later.  Choose to feel! 

TinyActionTV Episode #08: How to Make a Binge Work for You

Oh God, I feel so bad, I'm so full, I'm so bloated, why did I do this to myself?

Well, F** it.  I’ll justeat some more ice cream.

I know that I used to find myself stuck in that cycle, where I would eat in a way that would make me feel really poorly.  Then I wanted to do something to alleviate feeling so bad, so I'd eat some more to distract myself and end up feeling even worse.

Can you relate? I know a lot of people can.

I want offer a new perspective today. Choose to be your own scientist about your own body.

Choose to pay attention to how your body feels. Accumulate data about your body, like a scientist doing an experiment.

Let that bloating be a data point that lets you know that ice cream makes you feel awful. Listen to your body. 

The more data points you accumulate over time will help you to make better choices and to stand more solidly in your relationship with food and your body.

The most important part about this though, is that if scientists are doing their job right, they are not putting their own personal judgment into their experiments.

If you judge yourself for taking an action that makes you feel poorly that only compounds the problem. So drop the judgment, and listen to your body. 

Your Tiny Action today is to take a moment the next time you feel really poorly from what you ate, reflect on what it was you just ate, and you notice, when I eat that way, it makes me feel this way. Without any judgment.

Over time, you build up enough of those data points, it makes it a lot easier to not make those choices that make your body feel so badly. But remember, you need to do it without judgment.   

TinyActionTV Episode #07: Drop the Self-Judgment with this Simple Tool

In today's episode of Tiny Action TV, we're looking at a really important topic for finding freedom from the food crazies: self-judgment. Judging yourself for what you eat, how you feel, how you look, what you said, the way you reacted, whatever it may be.

I know that self-judgment is one of the things that keeps people stuck in the mental cycles that perpetuate the food crazies, emotional eating and bingeing.

What to do about the self-judgment?

It's a difficult topic but I have a number of great tools and one tiny one that I'm gonna share with you today.

Today’s tool is straightforward and it's physical. I love the physical tools. It always helps when you get out of your mind and into your body.

In that moment where you notice that you have some judgment coming through your mind, that you take that moment and you take your hand and make it shaped like a hook. You take that hook and you drag it in front of your mind and then you flick it away. (Watch the video if you want to see how it is done.)

You unhook your mind from those negative thoughts.

The reality is our mind is always gonna think. It's both the joy and detriment of how our minds work. When we cultivate our capacity to control and change our thoughts, we get to get out of the mental cycles of self-judgment that I like to call the shame and guilt spiral of doom.

When we can get off of that downward spiral then we can start to make actions, make choices and stand up for ourselves in our life, in our food relationship and in our bodies in an evermore profound and caring way.

Today for your Tiny Action: the next time that you notice yourself getting down on yourself for something you said, did, ate or how you look, any kind of self-judgment that you've got going, that you give this tiny tool a try.

Use this physical gesture to unhook your mind from those thoughts. It takes practice and consistency.  With time, it can be all you need to totally reroute your thoughts, and not end up elbow deep in the chip bag.  

TinyActionTV Episode #06: The Secret to Resolutions that Work

My Resolutions: I am going to work out for two hours a day every day, and I'm gonna drink eight glasses of water and I'm gonna eat three balanced meals, and healthy snacks in between, and I'm always gonna make them all myself, and, and, and, and…. 

I find this time of year it's really easy for people to fall into the downfall of trying to take on way too much all at once. And it ends up getting people in trouble, because it's impossible to implement that much new behavioral change and sustain it over time.

But you know what is possible? One Tiny Action after another.

Here is a metaphor that I think could help you a lot, to really understand what I'm saying here. If you're in America and you set sail for Africa, if you change your trajectory by just one degree, you'll end up in Europe.

A one degree shift right in front of you, can set you onto an entirely new trajectory over time.

In my own life, I used to have that big laundry list of activities that I needed to be doing in order to be good and healthy.

I had this whole vision of all the things I should do every day, including a long morning practice.  But, because I couldn’t do all of it, I wasn’t doing any of it. 

I was challenged by someone to just unroll my yoga mat and stand on it every single day.

Commit to that one tiny thing. And that's what I did.

Once I was on that yoga mat, I was more likely to stretch. And then once I was stretching, I was more likely to get up and go on a walk afterwards.

That one tiny action now has me into a relationship with my morning practice where it takes me well over two hours if I'm doing it full out. And I love it, I do it many, many, many days a week, and it fulfills me deeply.

But there's no way that I could possibly have implemented the morning practice of my dreams, in full, from the beginning.

For your tiny action, I want you to think about what is your equivalent action to "rolling out the yoga mat and standing on it."

What's that one tiny thing that you can actually commit to doing in a daily, ritualized way, that will lead you towards that bigger vision of what you're wanting for your life this year.

I know you can create more for your life than you ever have before, one tiny action at a time. Tiny actions add up. 

TinyActionTV Episode #05: How to Make your Diet Resolutions Actually Stick this New Year

Happy New Years! What's your resolution going to be this New Year?

People are making resolutions left and right and it's a time of year where everybody has a lot of excitement and momentum, and then what happens in a couple weeks? Life happens.

And, people don't go to the gym a couple days in a row and they let their entire year of resolutions drop by the wayside. Have you ever have that happen before? I know that I have.

I want to offer you a total reframe on the concept of commitment that has the power to completely change your year this year.

Commitment does not need to be perfect in it's execution. You do not need to show up at the gym every single day perfectly in order to keep showing up at all.

That's where people get stuck. Something will happen, they won’t go one day, and they'll let the whole thing go.

You don't need to be perfect. You can stay committed while not being perfect in my actions around that commitment. If I fail once, I don’t have to give up. 

Ahhh! Pretty revolutionary.

Today for your tiny action, I want to support you to commit to your New Year’s Resolution.  As you commit, decide to commit to it imperfectly. Commit in a way where your resolution is stronger than your need to execute that resolution perfectly. 

Imperfect commitment. That is the key.

May it be yours today. And, may it completely change the trajectory of your life this year. 

TinyActionTV Episode #04: The Secret to Self Worth

START NOW!

Have you ever told yourself that you can’t get that pedicure until you've lost that five pounds, or that you can't possibly buy yourself a pair of jeans in that size?

All the time I see people who are struggling with taking care of themselves and giving themselves the little self-care treats right now, because they don't feel like they're worth it.

Their worth will come once they are skinny enough. They will be worth taking care of once they are fitting into that smaller jean size.

I want to tell you one thing, loud and clear: you are so worthy. YOU ARE WORTH IT RIGHT NOW.

I wanna offer you the idea that you start now. Don’t wait until the jeans fit to claim your self-worth.  

Start now, go get that pedicure today.

Have you been putting off getting that pair of beautiful underwear until you're a smaller size? Go pick up a few pairs for yourself.

I guarantee it that looking down at your toes, or seeing yourself in a prettier pair of panties, will shift your inner experience of your self worth.

That strengthened place of self-worth is an essential component to dropping the food crazies, once and for all. 

So, my friends, my tiny action for you today is to: start now. Start NOW!

Decide right now, what is that one lovely self-care action that you're holding back from giving yourself and give it to yourself now.

It says... can you guess it? 

Start now.  

TinyActionTV Episode #03: How to Shake Off a Mean Comment without Eating

I remember when I was younger, a friend would make a comment about my body and it would really throw me for a major loop.

That initial painful comment would stay on repeat in my mind until I found myself elbow deep in the chip bag, so far into a binge that I had lost my mind, full of shame and guilt. I have to tell you, it was a horrible place to be.

There is another way through. One of the wonderful teachings that I’ve learned over the years of studying and guiding folks towards food freedom is the distinction between that comment that my friend made to me, the suffering that I created for myself with my continued thought patterns, and then my subsequent binges.

One of my favorite quotes is by the Japanese author, Haruki Murakami: “The pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.”

That is what it all boils down to. That initial point of pain is inevitable. It is going to happen. People are going to make mean comments.

But what we do with that is where we have a choice, and that is what I want to offer you today.

Today’s tiny action: when someone makes a painful comment like that to you, instead of playing it over and over in your head and going straight down to the corner store, try this: Go to the bathroom, set a two minute timer on your phone, take a page out of Taylor Swift and shake it off. 

I’m serious! I actually want you to shake.

I want you to go to the bathroom and I want you to vigorously shake your hands and then I want you to let your shoulders balance and your knees bounce and have your whole body shake for two whole minutes. Maybe even jump up and down a bit. Then stop and breathe. Feel your body.

Notice that you’re in a drastically different place than that moment when the initial pain occurred.

Notice that doing the Shake-Off is enough to keep you from going into the old tape of suffering, guilt and shame, and to do something new instead.

So my friend, today I hope that you go and shake it off!

TinyActionTV Episode #02: One Simple Tool to End Mindless Eating

SAVOR WITH YOUR SENSES

How many times have you ended up staring at the bottom of that ice cream carton not knowing where it all just went?! 

Mindless eating plagues so many folks that I talk to—whether it is eating really fast, eating distracted, or eating in away where they are numbing out from whatever stress or pain was just happening.
 
If you want to find freedom from that kind of eating, one of the absolute most powerful things that you can do is to slow down and savor the eating experience, by using your senses.

Let me tell you, it’s a lot more fun because you actually get to embrace the experience of eating the food instead of eating it mindlessly and then feeling guilty about it.

We are at this time of year— the holidays — where there are so many wonderful celebratory foods that are only around now. It’s the perfect time of year to try this on.

When you are sitting down with Aunt Betsey’s pecan praline cheesecake this year, instead of starting to count the calories in your head or feeling really guilty that no one else is having a piece, try something new.
 
Before you pick up the fork, carefully look at that piece of cheesecake for one whole breath. Notice the way that the pecans are glazed in just that way that only Aunt Betsey can do.

Then I want you to lean down to the plate and really smell all of the different ingredients that make up that delicious morsel.  
 
Only then, pick up that fork and take your first bite.  As you do it, allow it to melt in your mouth, paying attention to the textures and really savoring the whole experience through your senses.

When you eat mindfully, actively using every one of your senses, studies are shown that it will help you to eat less, eat more satisfied and not eat in a way that makes you feel out of control and crazy.

Choose to use your senses.  Your senses set you free from mindless eating.  Every time.  

Tiny Action: Next time you are eating a food that you often eat mindlessly, do an experiment.

Before you take a bite, take one breath to really look at what you are about to eat. Take another breath to really smell the food in front of you. Then, take your first bite and notice the textures and tastes.

See how many bites you can take in a row where you are really paying attention to the amazing sensations of eating.

TinyActionTV Episode #01: One Unexpected Trick to Stop Out-of-Control Eating

YOU ARE NEVER IN CONTROL. BUT YOU ARE ALWAYS IN CHOICE. 

People tell me all the time that they want to learn how to control their eating.

I look at them and I say, “You are never in control, but you are always in choice."

When you try to control your eating with diets and food rules, you are restricting.

When you restrict, it is only a matter of time before something goes wrong and your willpower drops, and you swing erratically over to out-of-control eating.

It happens every time. It is all the same cycle.

If you are freaking out about your bingeing, I want you to turn your head towards the ways that you are restricting around food. It is that point of restriction where the beginning of the problem really lies.

If you are currently dieting a lot or you have a lot of food rules, I want you to consider the way that those actions are leading to your out-of-control eating patterns.

What i know to be true is that it is absolutely necessary to release that restriction, if we are ever going to get off the pendulum swing.

 

This Weeks Tiny Action:

When you notice that you are saying “no” to a certain food, ask yourself if you are doing it from the place of restriction or choice.

Remember that the pendulum swing over to out-of-control eating is inevitable if you are restricting.

TinyActionTV Pilot Episode: Powerful Brain Hack to Stop Bingeing

GRATITUDE IS A BRAIN HACK

Happy Thanksgiving!  It is that time of year that we like to talk about gratitude.  What are you grateful for?

Instead of talking about gratitude just one day a year, I want to encourage you to choose to be grateful every day of the year. 

Gratitude is a brain hack, as my student and friend Tatum McGuire likes to say. Just through the process of feeling what we are grateful for, we are inherently headed in a  positive upward spiral trajectory.  

There is a lot of science to back it up too.  Dr. Emmons out of UC Davis, leading gratitude researcher, and he has shown that gratitude increases happiness, decreases depression and also supports us to let go of toxic emotions like resentment and guilt.

Those of us familiar with the downward spiral of out-of-control eating know all too well that it is often these toxic emotions that send us straight to the bottom of the chip bag.  

I want to offer you one Tiny Action, which is that you start to use your alarm clock, or if you are so lucky to wake up naturally, that first moment that you wake up, as the trigger to think of one thing you were truly grateful for from the day before.

Instead of thinking, “I am grateful for family.” Think: “I am grateful that my brother picked the kids up from school yesterday.” The more specific the better. 

When we focus on gratitude, we put ourselves into a state of being where we are more positive and more conscious to make the choices that we want for our life.

And when we are in that positive conscious state of being that this is where we get to make the empowered choices around our eating. 

So if you are ready to start living the life you have actually been so hungry for all along, I want to support you to start that gratitude practice first thing tomorrow morning.   

The Secret Recipe to Not Eat the Cake

Ask yourself right now, on a scale of 1-10 (1 being incredibly isolated, and 10 being beyond connected) how connected do you feel to yourself, your family, and your community.  Connection is a key ingredient in the Path to Food Freedom.  

The communities that I am part of, even though they may not be directly related to anything to do with my eating journey, have absolutely been critical to my maintaining commitment to healing and growth. 

When I was really struggling with food, stuck in the cycles of out-of-control eating and bingeing every night, I felt deeply disconnected. Disconnected from myself, disconnected from others, and profoundly sad within that disconnection. I was lonely. I was bored. I was depressed.

Such an important part of my recovery was choosing to put myself out there in friendship and community. It was not easy. I struggled with social anxiety, and had a hard time at social gatherings. I wouldn’t leave the house for anything but essential reasons for months on end. I had very little social interaction.

So, trust me, I get it. I know how easy it is to stay isolated in out-of-control eating patterns. And what I really want you to know, is that choosing connection over isolation is a key part of finding freedom from out-of-control eating patterns.

Connection is one of the most important actions in my Path to Food Freedom work. When you connect with others, you get out of your head. Connection is one of the deeper hungers that all humans feel. And when we don't find it through other humans or animals, we will search for it in food.

TODAY’S TINY ACTION:
1) Choose a specific time in your day when you know you might go into that lonely and bored space. 
2) Make a commitment to send a text message to a friend or family member at this time of day for 1 week (7 total texts).
3) Set an alarm on your phone to remind you at that time every day. 
4) When the alarm goes off, take a moment regardless of what else you are doing or not doing, and send that text. Just a simple text sending love and well wishes, or even better, a text inviting that person to do something together soon. 

NEXT STEP:
Think deeply about what you really value and care about. Determine what groups and communities gather around this subject. This might be a hobby, a spiritual practice, a dance class, or a creative group project.

Research potential community events and put one on your calendar.  Then actually show up, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.  Get involved in a community that meets regularly to focus on something that you all value. Over time being a part of this kind of community will fill you deeply, and eventually keep you from reaching to food to fill you up.