TinyActionTV Episode #27: The Secret to Going from Self-hate to Self-love

Self love. Self love. Self love.

How many times have you heard people talk about self love? And you think: "uh, yeah, looking in the mirror and saying 'I love you' is not gonna do it for me."

I know that people struggling with out-of-control eating issues look at that concept of self love, and think "how could I possibly love myself? I'm doing all these behaviors that show how much I don't care about myself, that show how awful I am."

I don't think you're awful. I just think you're stuck in behavioral patterning, but I know the thinking, because I have been there myself.

Going from a place of self hatred to self love is not easy.

There are some stops to make along the way before you can get to self love. 

One of the most powerful ones that I know is acceptance.

Acceptance. What does that really mean?

It is super understandable to think: "how can I possibly accept these crazy behaviors? How can I accept that it's okay to be binging in this way?"

I want to give you a mental shift on the concept of acceptance: acceptance does not equal approval.

You can accept something without approving of it.

If you aren't in acceptance of something that has already happened, then it is something that you can't change. 

So if you aren’t accepting the truth of it, then you're creating more suffering for yourself by being in resistance to it.  You create more suffering by beating yourself up about it, and being in the guilt and shame cycle about it.

Instead, what I wanna support you to do, is to shift your focus from being in resistance to what already has happened, to being in acceptance of it.

Accept the fact that you binged.

Accept the fact that your body is how it is right now.

It doesn't mean it won't ever change, it just means that you're accepting what is, in this moment.

If you're not accepting what is in this moment, then you're just creating more suffering for yourself.

For your tiny action for today: the next time you notice yourself in the mental cycle of, "oh my God, I can't believe that my thighs look like this," or, "oh my God, I'm just so awful that I ate all that food." That instead, you take a moment, and you say, "well, it is as it is."

It doesn't mean you're approving of the fact that you look the way you do, or that you behaved the way you behaved, but it is at least accepting that it is.

That is an important step on the journey to self love, and the journey to letting go of these behaviors that are driving you so crazy.

Just remember: Acceptance does not equal approval.