TinyActionTV Episode #25: One Secret to Escape Black and White Thinking

"A paradox is a statement that, despite apparently sound reasoning from true premises, leads to a self-contradictory or a logically unacceptable conclusion. A paradox involves contradictory yet interrelated elements that exist simultaneously and persist over time.” - Wikipedia

If you are struggling with out of control eating issues, then my guess is that you are living in a black and white reality,  where things are either good or bad.

You had great success or you were awful.

You feel excellent or you're judging yourself and you feel really guilty.

Where you are dieting and restricting, or where you are off the deep end, eating everything in the house.

Does that sound about right?

Well if that's you, then I can guarantee that you want to get off the pendulum swing.

It is not fun to be swinging between those two extremes.

I bet you want to learn how to live in the gray.

An essential component of being able to live in the gray is being able to accept exactly where you are and that you simultaneously want to change.

In order to get to a place where you're not bingeing all the time, you need to accept that you are bingeing.

While you want to stop bingeing, and you want to feel like you have choice over what you're eating, the way to do that is not to restrict.

It's to accept that you're bingeing, and then to simultaneously hold the commitment to not binge.

Now you might be saying "how can I accept something and also commit to not doing it? That is totally paradoxical."

Bing ding ding. You are right, it is an incredible paradox.

Something that I have learned is that in order to learn how to live in the gray, we have to learn how to be at peace with paradoxes of life. They are all around us all the the time.

While they might seem mutually exclusive and they can't happen simultaneously, it's the only way it's going to  happen.

The only way you're gonna stop bingeing is to accept that you are, and to commit that you don't want to.

You might feel like acceptance is just letting it all go and surrendering. I want to tell you differently. It's the key component to getting to that place where you stop.

There are so many other paradoxes that exist throughout your life.

Instead of being driven crazy by the paradoxes and trying to put them either in the good or bad camp, that you can remember the gray and instead choose to be at peace in the paradox.