TinyActionTV Episode #31: One Essential Secret to Get Over Yo-Yo Dieting

So many folks who are struggling with out of control eating patterns end up pushing themselves to be perfect in everything that they do.

It goes something like this: "I’m going to home-cook all my own meals and freeze 'em in little freezer baggies, and I'm going to work out for two hours a day every day! And I'm going to make sure that I also do all my work perfectly, and I'm going to take care of my kids just right."

And then guess what happens at some point?! 

Something bad happens. Life happens, and you end up not being able to fulfill on those big goals and promises you made to yourself! 

And then you end up swinging in the other direction, feeling like a failure, and heading over in what I like to call Bingeland.

If that feels familiar, then this is a concept I really want you to hear.  It is time to stop the push.

It's time to stop pushing so hard.

When you find yourself in that place where you are really pushing to try to get things done, and you're using your willpower, to try to accomplish everything perfectly, you remember this: When you try to accomplish what you want for your life through pushing, you will exhaust yourself, and you will fail.

Instead, I want to offer another perspective, which is that you come to it with a different set of values: ones of kindness, and compassion, and being realistic.

Ask yourself what would be the kind way for me to move my body today? What would be the compassionate way for me to work through everything on my to-do list?

It doesn't mean you just sit back, and are lazy and apathetic.

You just come at it, instead of from that pushing place, from a more open and receptive, kind and loving place.

For your tiny action today, what I want to support you to do is to really think about the times that you push and see how you can replace it with some kindness.

Stop the push!

TinyActionTV Episode #30: Simple Tool to Stop Emotional Eating

Emotions. Emotions. Emotions. How overwhelming emotions can be.

My guess, if you are reading this blog, is that when you feel intense emotions, you stuff it down with food.

You use food to make yourself feel better. You use food to feel just a little bit more comfortable, and you use food to numb out from those intense emotions. Am I right?

I want to offer another tool to help you in one of those moments where you experience a lot of intense emotional duress. Give it to the earth. What does that mean?

Give it to the earth. Here’s how it goes: you experience a moment of intense emotion, go outside, if you can be barefoot.

You might be standing, you could even be down on your hands and knees, you can be however you really want to be, but the idea is that you're in contact with the ground.

 

Take a deep breath in and as you exhale, you do a big releasing breath that is audible. Then as you release with that vocal exhale, you also envision sending that emotion into the earth. You just send it out of your body and into the earth.

Now, this might sound a little funny, and in some ways it is, but what if it helps? What if you could to that instead of binge?

Worth doing. Right?

I know, anecdotally from my experience and the experience of so many students of mine, that doing this kind of exercise can take you from being in a place where you feel right on that edge of out of control eating, to a place where you actually are feeling more calm, and grounded, and able to move through your day without going to food. 

Just remember: get in contact with the ground, envision sending out the emotion into the earth and exhale vocally as you do it.  May you experience this powerful release when you give it to the earth. 

TinyActionTV Episode #29: What do you need to say “NO!” to?

Do you feel like you end up saying yes all the time when instead you're thinking to yourself, "No, I don't want to do it?"

Are you way overcommitted and you don't have enough time for yourself and you're so stressed out by everything you're supposed to be doing?

I know that people who are struggling with out of control eating issues often say yes to everyone all the time.

They take on everything even though it's too much. And it ends up being a huge stressor.

What do people struggling with out of control eating do when they're stressed? They eat.

If you wanna stop your emotional eating, your binge eating, then I want you to think about, "Where can I say ’no' more often?"

It is always socially acceptable to tell someone, "No, that doesn't fit into my schedule."

There's so many ways to say no without hurting someone else or yourself.

I find all the time that my students don't want hurt other people's feelings, so instead they do thing they don't want to do which in turn ends up hurting themselves.

I want to support you to value yourself first, as they like to say on the airplane, to put on your own oxygen mask first and then help other people with their masks.

Today for your tiny action, I want you to really think about what is one area of your life where you need to say no more often, and then do it.

It is okay to create boundaries.  In fact, if you want to find freedom from out-of-control you will need to create boundaries. 

I support you to say “no" more. 

Say NO more!

TinyActionTV Episode #28: The Problem With Willpower

Do you feel like you just don't have enough willpower to control your emotional eating and your binge eating? That's what everyone say it's, "Just don't do it! Use your willpower! Make it through!"

But the reality is that when we behave in that kind of willful way, where we're really exerting so much energy to control our actions, inevitably that willpower will break, and we're gonna swing the other direction to out-of-control eating behaviors that make us feel crazy.

So instead, I want to offer a perspective shift on willpower.

Willpower isn't the solution, it's actually the problem with your eating behaviors. That process of trying to control will inevitably always backfire.

Instead of being willful, may you be willing.

May you be willing to learn new tools.

May you be willing to make different choices.

May you be willing to get the support that you need to actually figure this food thing out once and for all.

Today for your tiny action, I want to offer you this simple phrase that you can say to yourself in your mind, when you notice yourself going into that willpower place.

And that is: "I'm willing to to make a different choice right now."

I am willing to make a different choice right now.

And then see what happens.

May you find your willingness and let go of that willfullness.

TinyActionTV Episode #27: The Secret to Going from Self-hate to Self-love

Self love. Self love. Self love.

How many times have you heard people talk about self love? And you think: "uh, yeah, looking in the mirror and saying 'I love you' is not gonna do it for me."

I know that people struggling with out-of-control eating issues look at that concept of self love, and think "how could I possibly love myself? I'm doing all these behaviors that show how much I don't care about myself, that show how awful I am."

I don't think you're awful. I just think you're stuck in behavioral patterning, but I know the thinking, because I have been there myself.

Going from a place of self hatred to self love is not easy.

There are some stops to make along the way before you can get to self love. 

One of the most powerful ones that I know is acceptance.

Acceptance. What does that really mean?

It is super understandable to think: "how can I possibly accept these crazy behaviors? How can I accept that it's okay to be binging in this way?"

I want to give you a mental shift on the concept of acceptance: acceptance does not equal approval.

You can accept something without approving of it.

If you aren't in acceptance of something that has already happened, then it is something that you can't change. 

So if you aren’t accepting the truth of it, then you're creating more suffering for yourself by being in resistance to it.  You create more suffering by beating yourself up about it, and being in the guilt and shame cycle about it.

Instead, what I wanna support you to do, is to shift your focus from being in resistance to what already has happened, to being in acceptance of it.

Accept the fact that you binged.

Accept the fact that your body is how it is right now.

It doesn't mean it won't ever change, it just means that you're accepting what is, in this moment.

If you're not accepting what is in this moment, then you're just creating more suffering for yourself.

For your tiny action for today: the next time you notice yourself in the mental cycle of, "oh my God, I can't believe that my thighs look like this," or, "oh my God, I'm just so awful that I ate all that food." That instead, you take a moment, and you say, "well, it is as it is."

It doesn't mean you're approving of the fact that you look the way you do, or that you behaved the way you behaved, but it is at least accepting that it is.

That is an important step on the journey to self love, and the journey to letting go of these behaviors that are driving you so crazy.

Just remember: Acceptance does not equal approval.

TinyActionTV Episode #26: How Your Thoughts Affect Your Eating And What To Do About It

If you're struggling with out of control eating issues, then I bet that what you're thinking is: “Ugh if only I could control my eating. If I only I could not eat the food."

It's an understandable desire to not eat the food.

But I don't think that it's the food that's actually the problem. I think it's actually the symptom.

If you trace it farther back, what it actually comes down to is our thoughts.

It's the little thoughts that are running through your mind all the time that lead you to the food behaviors that you want to stop. 

If you're having self-judging thoughts-- if you're having thoughts of guilt and of shame, and general negativity in your thought patterning, then it's really simple to go from those thoughts straight to the bottom of the chip bag.

If you want to get away from the eating behaviors, it's time to start looking at how you're thinking, and to learn some powerful tools about how to choose your thoughts.

Your tiny action for today is to decide what is that negative thought patterning that you get stuck in all the time — on that hamster wheel of your thoughts.

Maybe it's self judgment about your body, maybe it is the stress of your husband, maybe it is what the boss is saying, maybe it's your kids.

But decide what that is for you and then decide to start to bring more and more awareness to the moments when your thought patterns are going there.

Then say this to yourself each time you notice you are thinking about that negative thought: “Oh, there I go thinking about that again.”

Then, re-direct your mind on to something else. I suggest that you then choose to redirect on to something that you're feeling grateful for.

Recap: you notice that you're having that negative thought, you go, "oh, there I am doing that again." Give yourself a little smile and think about something you're feeling grateful for.

The more times you catch yourself doing that, the more times you are actively choosing your thoughts.

When you can choose your thoughts, you can choose your actions, and you can let go of the out of control eating behaviors.

TinyActionTV Episode #25: One Secret to Escape Black and White Thinking

"A paradox is a statement that, despite apparently sound reasoning from true premises, leads to a self-contradictory or a logically unacceptable conclusion. A paradox involves contradictory yet interrelated elements that exist simultaneously and persist over time.” - Wikipedia

If you are struggling with out of control eating issues, then my guess is that you are living in a black and white reality,  where things are either good or bad.

You had great success or you were awful.

You feel excellent or you're judging yourself and you feel really guilty.

Where you are dieting and restricting, or where you are off the deep end, eating everything in the house.

Does that sound about right?

Well if that's you, then I can guarantee that you want to get off the pendulum swing.

It is not fun to be swinging between those two extremes.

I bet you want to learn how to live in the gray.

An essential component of being able to live in the gray is being able to accept exactly where you are and that you simultaneously want to change.

In order to get to a place where you're not bingeing all the time, you need to accept that you are bingeing.

While you want to stop bingeing, and you want to feel like you have choice over what you're eating, the way to do that is not to restrict.

It's to accept that you're bingeing, and then to simultaneously hold the commitment to not binge.

Now you might be saying "how can I accept something and also commit to not doing it? That is totally paradoxical."

Bing ding ding. You are right, it is an incredible paradox.

Something that I have learned is that in order to learn how to live in the gray, we have to learn how to be at peace with paradoxes of life. They are all around us all the the time.

While they might seem mutually exclusive and they can't happen simultaneously, it's the only way it's going to  happen.

The only way you're gonna stop bingeing is to accept that you are, and to commit that you don't want to.

You might feel like acceptance is just letting it all go and surrendering. I want to tell you differently. It's the key component to getting to that place where you stop.

There are so many other paradoxes that exist throughout your life.

Instead of being driven crazy by the paradoxes and trying to put them either in the good or bad camp, that you can remember the gray and instead choose to be at peace in the paradox.

TinyActionTV Episode #24: Powerful Commitment Hack

Let me guess.  You have a confusing relationship with commitment because you've tried so hard in the past to commit to this diet and to that diet, and you've ended up failing at all of them. 

You feel like a failure, and that nothing's going to work for you, so why commit at all?

I understand. You are not alone. I used to struggle with that myself.

I want to reframe commitment. Don’t commit to a diet. Don’t commit to a new way of eating.

Commit to yourself and to the life that you want to be living.

Commit to learning what you need to learn in order to get over the food crazies and start to have a relationship with food and with your body that feels easeful.

It might sound impossible, but I promise it is possible with the right teachings and with the right mindset.

Commit to the journey.  Commit to the life-long journey that it is to live in a body.  Commit to the life-long journey that it is to understand how to eat in a way that leaves you feeling at ease instead of out of control.

I guarantee it, in this commitment, you will stumble along the way, you will fall, you will trip up, and that that is all part of it. That is where you get to learn how to grow and change even more.

Today for your tiny action, I want you to understand what it is that you want your life to be like in that life-long journey.

Not about what size you want to be or what food you want to eat, or any of those things.  But what you want to experience on the life-long journey of living the way you want to live.

Commit to it, and then realize that all you have to do is take just the next step. 

You're not trying to get to the end of the journey, you're just trying to keep taking your next step and your next one and your next one along the path.

 Commit to the journey.

TinyActionTV Episode #23: What Are You Actually Hungry For?

All the time I talk to people who go to food for that moment of instant gratification even though they're actually trying to fill up a deeper hunger inside themselves.

They try to fill that deeper hunger with food but it never works, and it actually ends up making them feel worse.

Can you relate?

What I want to offer today for your tiny action is to ask yourself the question: What actually fills you up?

What is it that is that deep hunger in your soul, in your mind, and in your heart that you want to fulfill? What's that big dream?

What's that way of connecting to others, what's that way of being in this world that would actually fill you up in a much more gratifying way than that food ever could?

I hope that asking yourself this question will start to give you a step forward towards that deeply fulfilling life.

And remember, we're all about Tiny Actions in the Food Freedom world.  .

Even though it might be a big dream, just think about one small way that you could bring a tiny bit more of that kind of experience into your life today.

Build onto that tiny action over time, to create the truly fulfilling life of your dreams.  

Each tiny action you take to satisfy these deeper hungers will help you

TinyActionTV Episode #22: Most Powerful Tool to Stop a Binge in Its Tracks

Are you ready for one of the most powerful teachings I have ever found?

Emotions only last 90 seconds.  You heard me right. 

There is actually a neurological surge of chemicals that courses through your body when you have an intense emotional trigger and reaction.

That surge of chemicals passes within 90 seconds.

If you are still experiencing the emotion after 90 seconds, it's because you're attaching your thoughts to that initial experience of the emotion, and you're extending it with your thought patterns.

Your tiny action for today is to take that moment when you have an intense emotional trigger, and remove yourself from the situation and breathe.

Breathe and try to focus all of your mental energy that you can on the sensation in your body.  Feel the physical sensations of that surge of chemicals moving through your body.  Name out loud the sensations you are feeling as they change.  

If you can focus on the sensation of the emotion, instead of on the emotional story, then you can experience that your emotions only last 90 seconds.  

When you get good at this, you can keep yourself from going deep into a binge whenever you experience emotional upset. Instead you can feel what you are feeling, and let it move through and not eat about it.  

This has changed my life and so many others’ lives, as well.  I hope it deeply impacts yours.

Your emotions only last 90 seconds. Talk about freedom.

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