TinyActionTV Episode #37: The Link Between Bingeing and Perfectionism

Hi, my name is Natalie. I'm a recovering perfectionist.

Are you a member of Perfectionist Anonymous?

I know that when I was struggling with binge eating every single day for over a decade that all I wanted to do was to do it right, to be perfect and to not keep messing up all the time.

I would try really hard to seek that perfection, to be good. And ultimately, what would happen is it would swing the other way and I'd end up stuck in these behaviors that left me feeling out of control and crazy.

What I've learned through my journey of recovery is that it's absolutely essential to let go of the perfectionism and instead, to seek presence.

When we're actually present with what's happening in the present moment, then we can notice the thought patterns that lead us towards those actions of out of control eating.

But when we're stuck in that perfectionistic mindset, then we are always seeking something forward in the future. We're not here now.

When we're in that seeking mindset, we aren't aware enough to notice those classic old thoughts that lead to those classic old actions.

If you want to let go of your out of control eating habits once and for all, then I want to support you to seek presence, not perfection.

Today for your Tiny Action, when you notice yourself going off into that perfectionistic "someday I'm going to get it right. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to do all these things to get there."

I want you to instead take a deep breath, feel your body pressing down against the ground, be here in this present moment through the sensation in your body, and seek presence, not perfection.

If that sounds good but you don't really know what I'm talking or how to get to that place of presence, then the Goodbye Binge Eating Foundation's course is the place for you to start.

You're lucky because it's about to start but it hasn't yet and you can still join us as  Founding Member.  Founding Members are going to get to participate with me LIVE and get an awesome one-time-only introductory price. 

If you're interested in finding out more about the five essential first steps you must take to build that foundation to say goodbye to binge eating once and for all, head on over to natalieforsythe.com/newclass right now so that you can secure your spot. 

TinyActionTV Episode #36: The Solution to Mindless Eating

People who are struggling with out of control eating usually end up eating really quickly, standing in the pantry when no one's watching. 

Or classically, in front of the TV, mindlessly eating that whole family size bag of chips and not even realizing you're done until you're done.

Sound familiar?

Instead of getting stuck in those mindless cycles of eating, what I want to do is give you permission to savor sensation.

It's okay to enjoy eating.

It's okay to feel good.

It's okay to feel good feelings through the sensations in your body.

In fact, when you choose to focus your mind on pleasurable sensation, you're able to have a richer experience of life.

When you are eating, I am suggesting that you pay close attention to what it looks like and smells like, the textures, the taste—  to savor those sensations.

There is actually a part of our digestive process that gets stimulated through sight and smell, and if we neglect those sensations—  if we're mindlessly eating— then that digestion aspect never gets stimulated and we don't feel full.

So we end up eating a lot more, and don’t even notice it. 

Another really important reason to savor sensation is that when you actually focus on savoring the sensation of your eating, then you actually get that deep satisfaction that you want from the food.

It's okay for you to feel pleasure. And I want to support you to experience it in your eating, as well as in the other aspects of your life.

Feel the pleasure of putting lotion on your skin. Feel the pleasure of the sun soaking into you. Feel the pleasure of being able to look at beautiful things. It's okay to feel good.

When you savor sensation, the world gets a lot brighter.

If you want to learn more tools to help you say goodbye to binge eating, then I want to welcome you into an exciting new class.

It's the Goodbye Binge Eating Foundations course.

You will learn the five essential steps to build the foundation, to say goodbye to binge eating and emotional eating once and for all.

I'm opening this class up to the very first cohort of founding members super soon.

When I do that, the people who sign up as Founding Members are going to get a couple of really cool things.

They're going to get to experience the class with me LIVE, which in the future it's going to be a recorded home study course.

AND you're going to get an awesome introductory price.

If you want to get in on that, head on over to natalieforsythe.com/newclass and save your seat on that wait list.

That way you will be the first to hear about it, and you can be one of those lucky Founding Members of Goodbye Binge Eating.

TinyActionTV Episode #35: Powerful Tool to Stop Obsessive Thoughts About the Past

A quote that has been so important on my own journey of having recovered from being stuck in the cycles of bulimia for over a decade, was this one: "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

The intense moments of pain are going to happen. The people we love are going to get sick, we will get laid off, these things are part of what it is to be human.

What we have choice around is how we then react to that initial moment of pain.

Today I want to talk about a very specific part of how we react, and teach you what I think is one of the most powerful tools on the path to food freedom, and that is acceptance.

We need to accept what is.

If we're in resistance to what actually has happened, then we are creating more suffering for ourselves.

 

If we are arguing with ourselves in our mind over something that has already happened by imagining how we could do a past scenario differently, we're creating more suffering for ourselves with those thought patterns.

Instead, I offer you this very powerful phrase that you can say to yourself when you notice yourself stuck in those mental head trips of "if only I had," "if only it hadn't happened."

That magical phrase: it is as it is.

It is as it is.

I accept that it is as it is. This is what is happening, so instead of creating more suffering for myself through my resistance to what is true, I am instead going to just accept that it is as it is.

In finding that acceptance, you eliminate that suffering for yourself. 

The less suffering we're experiencing, the more able we are to actually show up in choice about how we're eating, and to not numb out our emotions and painful though patterns with food.

Over and over again, each time you notice those suffering thought patterns, say to yourself, "it is as it is."

Acceptance is freedom.

PS From Food Freedom Land!

If you want to learn more amazing essential mindset shifts, and actionable tools then you want to know about the Goodbye Binge Eating Foundations Course.

It is going to be the five essential first steps that you must take to build the foundation for yourself to finally get over binge eating and emotional eating, once and for all.

I have an exciting opportunity for Founding Members to join this class.  Founding Members will be able to actually participate in these classes with me, live. In the future they'll be recorded. AND Founding Members are going to get an awesome introductory price.

So if you want to make sure that you get on that wait list to be a Founding Member, head on over to natalieforsythe.com/newclass

TinyActionTV Episode #34: Surprising Secret to Busting through Resistance

If you're sick and tired of the food crazies, then my guess is that you want to figure out how to control your eating so that you don’t go crazy yourself.

You're ready to be done with the bingeing, done with the emotional eating, and ready to feel like you actually don't obsess about food all the time.

Usually when people are feeling that way, they start to think, "what's the next diet I can go on?”

They think: "I'm going to control my eating so that I can push through this resistance that I have to changing myself, the resistance to being the best version of myself."

And what I find is that when people try to push through that resistance, it doesn't work.

They're using willpower, they're using this artificial energy that ends up busting and you don't end up where you want.

What happens when willpower busts out on a diet?

You end up swinging way the other direction and eating everything in the house.

It happens like clockwork, guaranteed.

So instead of pushing through the resistance to change, I want to offer an essential mindset shift: rest through the resistance.

Give yourself the permission to chill out.

The reality is is that we are all super overwhelmed and stressed out these days. The phone is always blinging, the boss is always calling, the kids are always yelling. There's always a lot going on.

When we are stuck in so much stress from the intensity of life all the time, the last thing that we need is try to push through the resistance of our food behaviors to try to control them.

If we want to actually create sustainable change, the answer is to instead of pushing through that resistance, to rest through the resistance.

What I mean by that: go take a bath. Go take a walk. Go do something nice for yourself. Put on some music and just lie down.

Rest through it. By giving yourself the ability to rest you can then, from a nurtured and nourished place, show up and start to make different choices about the way you're eating.

I am dedicated to continuing to teach you more tiny actions to help you live the life that you've actually been so hungry for all along.

I want to tell you about something really cool that's happening in the Food Freedom world: the Goodbye Binge Eating Foundations course.

It's going to teach the five essential steps to build the foundation to say goodbye to binge eating once and for all. I am taking the most powerful tools from my highly successful (people stop bingeing left and right) 6 month long Path to Food Freedom program and giving them to you in just 6 weeks!

I'm opening this class up to Founding Members who are going to get a couple really cool things. For one, they're going to get to participate in the class with me live, and the second thing is that they are going to get a  great introductory price that will only be around for this very first time through.

So if you want to be able to be one of those Founding Members, head on over to natalieforsythe.com/newclass and you'll be able to get on the wait list so that you can sign up first thing and be a founding member of Goodbye Binge Eating.

TinyActionTV Episode #33: How to Change Habits Without Willpower

Do you desperately want to change your out of control eating patterns?

Are you so ready to finally figure this food struggle out? 

I bet that you feel like you can't trust yourself because you failed at so many of the other things that you've tried in the past.

That at this point, there is little will in you to do something new and to try something else.

You aren't alone. 

Showing up and making a big change in your own life requires conjuring up the tenacity to change from somewhere deep inside.

It’s time to find the source of your tenacity.  

 

It takes getting in touch with the deep desire to change (from a loving and caring place) to get in touch with that tenacity that helps you to push through that first couple layers of resistance so that you can actually start to behave in new ways that are supportive.

Now, I'm not talking about using willpower to stay on a diet. I'm not talking about using willpower to do that exercise routine that's actually killing you.

I'm talking about conjuring up a deep tenacity from inside of yourself to take care of yourself, to make one tiny action after another, to move more and more into self acceptance and into empowered choice so that you can create the life that you've actually been so hungry for.

Where does that tenacity come from?

We have to focus on our hearts’ deepest desires to find that tenacity. 

Find it and gnash it. Gnash your tenacity!

Sometime we have to call on something outside of ourselves: call on that wolf howling at the moon, or you think about someone who's been through something so much more intense than what you're going through— maybe someone experiencing war time or working with a disability. Persevere! 

Think about those people. Feel into it, and gnash your tenacity. Let that tenacity build up inside yourself and take that next step.

It's not always going to be easy, but once we start taking steps, once we start the motivation, we can be the snowball rolling down the hill.

But the essential thing therein is that you're not doing it from a place of restriction and push, but from a place of tenacity, from a place of, "I am going to do this for my life. I am going to take a stand. I am going to do what I need to do, so that I can figure out how to live this life that I have actually been so hungry for all along." 

Exciting Food Freedom News:

I have a new class coming out super soon called Goodbye Binge Eating, and it is the six essential foundational steps that you must take to say goodbye to binge eating forever, and say hello to Food Freedom.

If you want to be one of the Founding Members, then I want you to head on over to natalieforsythe.com/newclass

Signing up on this list is going to put you on a wait list so you get the opportunity to get one of the first spots available.

The Founding Members are going to get a couple really cool things: They are going to get to participate in this three month program with me LIVE, and ask me lots of questions and get a lot more interaction with me, and two, you're going to get a special Founding Member price that's only going to be available to the folks who join first thing.

TinyActionTV #32: The Downfall of Body-Checking Everyone, and What to Do Instead

When I was still really struggling with my disordered eating and my body self-hatred, I would walk into a room and I would body-check myself against everyone else that was there.

"Am I the biggest? Who has the smallest thighs? What are they eating? What am I eating?"

I would try to make sense of my self worth through that kind of comparative thinking.

But do you know the only thing that the comparisons actually did?

It would get me stuck on the guilt and shame spiral of doom.

Once I got onto that spiral of doom, guaranteed, I was headed straight for binge land.

That kind of comparative thinking puts us into that polarized perspective of good and bad- the black-and-white thinking that got us in this mess in the first place.

If you've been watching TinyActionTV for long enough, then you know it's precisely that good and bad, black-and-white thinking that is what is keeping us stuck on the cycle between restriction and out-of-control eating.

If you want to get off that downward spiral to binge land, I want to give you the tiny action of how to stop that comparison thinking. Comparison kills.

Every time that you notice a comparing thought going through your mind- comparing you to anyone or anything else- that you choose to unhook your mind from it.

Take your fingers in the shape of a hook, you drag it across your forehead, imagine pulling that thought out of your mind and body, and flicking it away. (Helpful to watch the video to see it in action.)

It's powerful to do it with your body, because it gets it out of just your mind, into your body, and right on out of your system.

The more often you do it, the more often you're aware that you're comparing and choose to unhook, the less times that you're going to actually have those comparing thoughts.

When you have fewer comparing thoughts, it's much easier to listen deeply to your own body, to understand what it is you want and need at any given moment.

Then you will be more able to make the empowered choices about your food and body so that you can actually live the life that you've been so hungry for all along.

And here is a little public service announcement: I have some exciting news!

My new class, Goodbye Binge Eating, which is the six essential first steps you must make to find freedom from the food crazies, is going to be coming out for the first time in just a few weeks.

The Founding Members of this class are going to get a few really cool things. First, they're going to actually get to get the teachings from me live, so they get their questions answered along the way.

Second, they're going to get an awesome founding members price, which is going to be the lowest this class is ever offered at going into the future.

If you want to make sure that you know about that class when it opens up, head on over to natalieforsythe.com/newclass, and you can get your name on that waiting list.

There will only be spots for a limited number of folks, so make sure you get your name down there first. 

TinyActionTV Episode #31: One Essential Secret to Get Over Yo-Yo Dieting

So many folks who are struggling with out of control eating patterns end up pushing themselves to be perfect in everything that they do.

It goes something like this: "I’m going to home-cook all my own meals and freeze 'em in little freezer baggies, and I'm going to work out for two hours a day every day! And I'm going to make sure that I also do all my work perfectly, and I'm going to take care of my kids just right."

And then guess what happens at some point?! 

Something bad happens. Life happens, and you end up not being able to fulfill on those big goals and promises you made to yourself! 

And then you end up swinging in the other direction, feeling like a failure, and heading over in what I like to call Bingeland.

If that feels familiar, then this is a concept I really want you to hear.  It is time to stop the push.

It's time to stop pushing so hard.

When you find yourself in that place where you are really pushing to try to get things done, and you're using your willpower, to try to accomplish everything perfectly, you remember this: When you try to accomplish what you want for your life through pushing, you will exhaust yourself, and you will fail.

Instead, I want to offer another perspective, which is that you come to it with a different set of values: ones of kindness, and compassion, and being realistic.

Ask yourself what would be the kind way for me to move my body today? What would be the compassionate way for me to work through everything on my to-do list?

It doesn't mean you just sit back, and are lazy and apathetic.

You just come at it, instead of from that pushing place, from a more open and receptive, kind and loving place.

For your tiny action today, what I want to support you to do is to really think about the times that you push and see how you can replace it with some kindness.

Stop the push!

TinyActionTV Episode #30: Simple Tool to Stop Emotional Eating

Emotions. Emotions. Emotions. How overwhelming emotions can be.

My guess, if you are reading this blog, is that when you feel intense emotions, you stuff it down with food.

You use food to make yourself feel better. You use food to feel just a little bit more comfortable, and you use food to numb out from those intense emotions. Am I right?

I want to offer another tool to help you in one of those moments where you experience a lot of intense emotional duress. Give it to the earth. What does that mean?

Give it to the earth. Here’s how it goes: you experience a moment of intense emotion, go outside, if you can be barefoot.

You might be standing, you could even be down on your hands and knees, you can be however you really want to be, but the idea is that you're in contact with the ground.

 

Take a deep breath in and as you exhale, you do a big releasing breath that is audible. Then as you release with that vocal exhale, you also envision sending that emotion into the earth. You just send it out of your body and into the earth.

Now, this might sound a little funny, and in some ways it is, but what if it helps? What if you could to that instead of binge?

Worth doing. Right?

I know, anecdotally from my experience and the experience of so many students of mine, that doing this kind of exercise can take you from being in a place where you feel right on that edge of out of control eating, to a place where you actually are feeling more calm, and grounded, and able to move through your day without going to food. 

Just remember: get in contact with the ground, envision sending out the emotion into the earth and exhale vocally as you do it.  May you experience this powerful release when you give it to the earth. 

TinyActionTV Episode #29: What do you need to say “NO!” to?

Do you feel like you end up saying yes all the time when instead you're thinking to yourself, "No, I don't want to do it?"

Are you way overcommitted and you don't have enough time for yourself and you're so stressed out by everything you're supposed to be doing?

I know that people who are struggling with out of control eating issues often say yes to everyone all the time.

They take on everything even though it's too much. And it ends up being a huge stressor.

What do people struggling with out of control eating do when they're stressed? They eat.

If you wanna stop your emotional eating, your binge eating, then I want you to think about, "Where can I say ’no' more often?"

It is always socially acceptable to tell someone, "No, that doesn't fit into my schedule."

There's so many ways to say no without hurting someone else or yourself.

I find all the time that my students don't want hurt other people's feelings, so instead they do thing they don't want to do which in turn ends up hurting themselves.

I want to support you to value yourself first, as they like to say on the airplane, to put on your own oxygen mask first and then help other people with their masks.

Today for your tiny action, I want you to really think about what is one area of your life where you need to say no more often, and then do it.

It is okay to create boundaries.  In fact, if you want to find freedom from out-of-control you will need to create boundaries. 

I support you to say “no" more. 

Say NO more!

TinyActionTV Episode #28: The Problem With Willpower

Do you feel like you just don't have enough willpower to control your emotional eating and your binge eating? That's what everyone say it's, "Just don't do it! Use your willpower! Make it through!"

But the reality is that when we behave in that kind of willful way, where we're really exerting so much energy to control our actions, inevitably that willpower will break, and we're gonna swing the other direction to out-of-control eating behaviors that make us feel crazy.

So instead, I want to offer a perspective shift on willpower.

Willpower isn't the solution, it's actually the problem with your eating behaviors. That process of trying to control will inevitably always backfire.

Instead of being willful, may you be willing.

May you be willing to learn new tools.

May you be willing to make different choices.

May you be willing to get the support that you need to actually figure this food thing out once and for all.

Today for your tiny action, I want to offer you this simple phrase that you can say to yourself in your mind, when you notice yourself going into that willpower place.

And that is: "I'm willing to to make a different choice right now."

I am willing to make a different choice right now.

And then see what happens.

May you find your willingness and let go of that willfullness.